They don’t tell you that every time you do something that was off limits during pregnancy you feel like a knife is twisting inside you. Those things that you thought you missed, like eating sushi, having some wine, going out for drinks with friends – all of a sudden you realize that you only missed them because there was happiness inside you. Now that you can do those things again, you don’t enjoy them. Even after a month, that bite of sushi is a reminder – that the only reason you are able to eat this again is because of your loss. The bittersweet.